All boxes entering the premises are subject to immediate inspection and potential permanent occupation. This includes, but is not limited to: shipping boxes, shoe boxes, cereal boxes, boxes that previously contained items of no interest to Kit, and boxes that are technically too small.

The size of the box is irrelevant. Kit will determine whether he fits. This determination may take several attempts. Observers are advised to remain silent during the assessment process.

Once a box has been occupied, it becomes Kit's box. The item that arrived in the box has no bearing on this designation. The item may be removed. The box may not.

Boxes may be rotated out of the active collection at Kit's discretion. This typically occurs when a newer, more structurally interesting box arrives. The retired box will be mourned briefly and then forgotten.

Guests entering the premises will be assessed. This assessment is conducted silently, from a distance, and may take anywhere from four minutes to three days depending on the guest's energy and whether they make direct eye contact.

Guests who immediately attempt to pet Kit will be noted unfavorably. Guests who ignore Kit entirely and allow him to approach on his own terms will be considered for provisional approval.

Guests who say "oh, he doesn't like me" will be correct. Guests who say "he'll come around" will also be correct, but on Kit's timeline, not theirs.

Guests who bring boxes will be fast-tracked through the approval process. This is not a bribe. It is simply a relevant data point.

Touching Kit requires consent. Consent is indicated by Kit approaching you, not by you approaching Kit. These are different things and the distinction is important.

Permitted zones, when consent has been granted: behind the ears, under the chin, the base of the tail (briefly). All other zones are provisional and subject to revocation without notice.

The belly is a separate matter entirely. The belly is visible. The belly may appear inviting. The belly is a test. Touching the belly constitutes a legally binding agreement to accept the consequences. Kit accepts no liability for outcomes resulting from unsolicited belly contact.

Petting sessions may be terminated by Kit at any time, for any reason, including but not limited to: a sound from another room, a change in the quality of light, a sudden recollection of something that happened three weeks ago, or simply because Kit has decided he is done.

Kit does not recognize Monday as a distinct category of day. The sun rises. The heating vent activates. The bowl is filled or it is not. These are the relevant variables.

The human's relationship with Monday is noted and found puzzling. Kit has observed that Monday produces a specific sound — a low, resigned exhalation upon viewing the phone — that does not occur on other days. Kit has studied this phenomenon for several years and has reached no satisfying conclusion.

Kit's official position is that Monday is a human problem and he declines to participate in it. He will, however, sit near the human during Monday mornings, as proximity has been shown to reduce the Monday exhalation sound. Kit does this for his own reasons. Do not read into it.

Kit has lived with a dog. The dog's name was Oreo. Oreo was a Papillon who lived to seventeen years old and was, by any objective measure, an exceptional dog. Kit acknowledges this. Kit will not be elaborating.

Kit's general position on dogs is as follows: dogs are loud, structurally inefficient, and emotionally transparent in ways that Kit finds exhausting. They want things constantly and they show it. Kit finds this undignified.

That said, Kit is aware that Oreo was different. Oreo had a specific understanding with Kit that was never formally discussed and did not need to be. When Oreo left, Kit went quiet for a while. Kit does not wish to discuss this further.

New dogs entering the premises will be assessed under Article II (Guest Admission Criteria) with an extended evaluation period of no less than six weeks. This is not personal. This is policy.

Kit is not on social media. He considers this a point of pride. The internet, as Kit understands it, is a place where beings perform versions of themselves for the approval of strangers. Kit does not require approval from strangers. Kit barely requires approval from people he knows.

Kit is aware that a website has been built. Kit has reviewed the website. Kit finds it acceptable. Kit's official position on the website is documented in his journal entry "On the Matter of the Website," which is available at kitsays.com and which Kit considers his definitive statement on the subject.

Kit is currently reevaluating his position on social media. He has things to say. The question is whether the internet deserves to hear them. Kit is still deciding. He will take as long as he needs.